Walk More Slowly

I hate saturdays.

Ok... I mean, I don't have time to be doing anythingggggg but I'm just saying that next week, hopefully, maybe I'll try to catch up, with you guys, and with fandom (even a littleeeee) because I miss everything soooo muchhhhhh and I know that I'll be put into better moods. Siiiiiiiighhhhhhhh. I know this entry is out of nowhere and you may have thought I was dead, but I'm just sleeping... metaphorically that is, of course.

To recount, just a little, of what has gone on:
I was Death [from The Sandman] for Halloween!!! It was awesome.

I'm bloody going to Israel in December!!!!!! SO BLOODY EXCITED/CAN'T BLOODY WAIT HOLY SHITTTT FUCKING AWESOMEEEEEEEEE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~!!!!!kJ;ADJFDSA;JFA !!

... こんばんは！！　あの。。｡　私はページです。。｡　So like, I can type in Japanese on here and that's awesome too.

I had a fantastic, fantastic birthday for once. I had a picnic under a gazebo outside, and it was raining, and I made B.L.'s (no tomato, thank you), fresh cucumber salad-thing that I stole from my boy because it was delicious, FRUIT SALAD with blackberries, muscadine grapes, raspberries, and pomegranate seeds (this salad of my own, simple devising), had a bag of plantain chips and かれしさん (... Mr. Boyfriend... ok, that was weird of me) brought me cake. YELLOW cake, my favorite. Ah well, anyway, it was wonderful~~

There's more.... and I'll spare the negative of my recent past/present because I am not in the mood. :) Aside from the paper that is due, I can't wait for monday. It's weird, I suppose... but I'm so averse to weekends now, and so fond of weeks (aside from the work and the stress). It's good because weeks are longer than weekends. :) Ah.

.... The future is obscure but... whatever... happens... happens...

Oh fuck, what a night. I need to punch a fucker or two. Well now I can get my thoughts out. Bloody fuck fucking hell. I hope to God I didn't just royally fuck up. Fuck.

I just totally sunk. What a fucking PRICK. :'( *sigh* I semi-feel like shit.
But de first week of school is OVER, WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! It's going to be a hard semester. My friend who took an overload last year (as I am, this year) told me that one can do it, but one can't have that much fun and.... well, I want fun. I feel like I'm devoting what other time I have to one person in particular, and then I have like... two other real friends here who are transferring next year so, I vant to socialize and meet new people, but I feel like I'm reverting back to how I was in ... high school and further. Again, I semi-feel like shit.

And I have a sort of dilemma. I'm in a suite with 4 rooms, 3 of which are officially occupied by me and my two suitemates. Well, my suitemate's brother is occupying the fourth room and he doesn't go to my school. I don't really have anything against that... that much... as I understand it I think he's just staying here (for free) because my suitemate's family doesn't want to pay for his own housing or... whatever... I think he goes to another college that's about 15-20 minutes away... and I don't really see him around and I don't have to share a bathroom with him or anything, but it's just the fact that he's there that irks me. I don't know how much GA Tech housing is but my sister goes there and it's pretty fucking cheap for a college if you have the HOPE scholarship, and even without the scholarship I don't think it could be that bad because it's a public school, and there are thingies called loans and grants and financial aid, or otherwise he could just live at his own bloody house. I guess I'm just a tad bit worried because there's just something sort of... inherently wrong about this; I mean, it's illegal and I feel like I'm an accessory to a crime... and what if I bloody lose my scholarship? I don't know how or why that would happen just because my suitemate's brother is staying here, but I'm paranoid. Also, my suitemate didn't even ask me and my other suitemate if he could stay. ALSO, and this is the main main problem here, in all seriousness I am fucking freaked out about swine flu and I know it's going around GA Tech [my sister bloody got it, and thank god she's fine... and the rest of my family is fine (so far) but I'm freaked out so freaked out, not for me especially, but for someone I care about] and if he bloody GOES THERE, then that's just more chance for him to bring it to my campus. I just feel like this is wrong. It's wrong, right? Or should I let it slide? Or... should I give a faculty member an anonymous hint that this is happening? Or am I making a big deal? But swine flu is a big deal and I'm being paranoid about that, but it's not unreasonable paranoia.

Bababah. Anyway. Rant over. Haaai domooooo. I think I'm becoming wayyyy too dependent.

Heeeey, One Piece!!! Fuck ja!!!! It keeps me going. ^__________________^

I saw parallel rainbows today and it was pretty. ^ ^

Yoyoyoyoyo! Look, here's something really cool- it's like remixes to these movies with their sounds. The music's good (if you like mixes and trancey stuff) and God, it's nostalgic (for me, anyway). I liiiiike the Mary Poppins one, the Alice in Wonderland one, the Secret Garden one, the Harry Potter one... Ahaha, and there's a random video where I think the guy who makes these videos is dancing in a Darth Vader mask, tehehehe. Anyway, here, I'm linking to the Mary Poppins one because that's what I'm listening to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Za-V_lhwGg&feature=channel

Six Feet Under's a great show. I feel bad for not reading as much, since I have library books due (oshi--) and school's starting soon (ofuh--) but I want to waaaaaaaatch! You know, with reading, I just find myself (recently, anyway) pausing so much because I have so many things on my mind, but with a show it's easier not to do that. I'll end up thinking for too long about something I've already thought about. You just need to take deep breaths... and be calm and positive. Yeeeeeeeeeeesh. :)

... (Turn this stupid fat rat yellow!)

Good God, August has been a horrible month! Well, things are looking up. Donc je suis contente. :)

Man. I shouldn't be upset, because being upset over haircuts is silly, riiiiight, but FUCKING HELL. I don't recall any bloody haircut that I've received in my life that I've actually liked. I used to end up crying. I want long hair but I don't just want long hair, you know! It can't be this blunt crap with slight layering that looks exactly what my sister would have wanted a few fucking years ago! I WANT *THIS* and you don't fucking know how to do that, you $45-haircut charger? (Need to get this out) I don't fucking want this piece there and you always fucking 'make it softer' and it never fucking works and just... I can never trust anyone to give me a good haircut. *deep breaths*
Well, get over it, Paige. But it's hard. *pouts* It's just one of those things you hate since childhood, like the dentist (who I also hate) or something. What do you guys hate?

Recommendation for anyone who wants a good book to read: The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Really.

Hey, I'm looking for more books to read! Right now I'm sort of more into contemporary stuff, and I've made quite a list, and even though school starts soon, I'd like to add to it, so if you have anything...

Signing off. >:(

Today's one of those miserable days. There are minor reasons why I feel miserable-- the last two books I finished were unsatisfying, this bitch still owes me money and I'm not going to get it, unproductivity and inquietude, naivete, one of my best friends is depressed and I'm not doing much to help, my brother, myself-- there are larger ones why I should feel better. There usually are, so get out of it.

Ok. Tomorrow's a new day. +,-. I'm always so torn between things, you know?

I only remembered to read the new chapter of Bleach today. Pritty pritty uninterested in it, I'm just reading it because. 'Superchunky from Hell'? Sounds like ice cream. :P Does anyone else keep up with Bleach, anyway? One Piece, on the other hand, is held deeply in my heart. <3

It's 6 am and I'm up eating ice cream. Wheeeeeee.

I need a good song to dance to, because if I lose a bet (a few supersmash bros. battles), then I have to dance for someone. Not a lapdance or anything, just a silly, whatever-I-want-to-do dance, but I hope I don't lose. -_- And I want to do more bets (wuh?), so I need some things to bet over, just here and there in day-to-day life.

That's it, maybe...? Reading books, I am? Jobless, but that's sort of ok? Right now I think I will finally beat Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon so that will be over with, and then read some more.

And I fed ducks and geese today! I don't like alphas of species. >:[

I'm going to get my book! I'M GOING TO GET MY BOOK! I'M GOING TO GET IT! GOOD OMENS! IN ABOUT 45 MINUTES! And Jamaican food for lunch, because that's where we're going! I'M GOING TO GET MY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby's birthday went finnnnnneeeee, actually it was a really good day for the both of us. Today on the other hand... -_- crap, at least for me.

Anyway I spent some time naked (actually I'm naked right now and the door's not even locked) and it feels gooooood. Psst, sometimes, when I'm upset, I put on my domme boots and walk around to make myself feel better. Haha.

Hm. I want to get back into fandom!! I read fanfiction recently!! Saved some icons!! Of course I still don't know what Lagann-hen (or whatever) is and I skip over any news for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya even though the 2nd season should be due soon... but I'm still an avid OP fan and I plan on finishing Shaman King soon, yes I do. I don't know if I'll get back into Reborn and D.Gray-Man but... I wanna watch anime! Recommend me something?

And uh... hey. :)

So I remembered and stole a piece to fondle.

Wouldn't it be lovely to have sex to classical music?

I hope I'm not the source of the pressure you're under.

I no longer have a pair of jeans that does not have any paint on them.

I feel it. Always I feel it.

And I just want to think. fprdpndpddopm,rsm;pbr> What I shouldn't do is feel pressured, and I should definitely not lie. I think... well, would I know? I can talk about A (ha, sort of) but I definitely can't talk about B. As a person, yes. Passionately, yes. Oldly, yes. I just don't want it to have been a mistake, but I think the... 3rd or maybe 4th time later was a reassurance that it wasn't just a fuck-up amidst... amidst. Great word, amidst. *sigh* I don't want to think about anything else, or be occupied with anything else, and that could be bad.

Now that that's out, I'm sick and semi-miserable. Grossssss, I have to blow my nose every 5 minutes. I fucking. Hate. Pollen. Thus, I hate spring.

OK BITCH, I BETTER GET MY MONEY SOON.

I am looking at Calvin Klein men's underwear and sunglasses. ^____^

So I've been at least a week behind in checking my f-list, and even before that I was just really busy so I didn't comment as much... and hell, I'm still busy (oh my god- only 3 more days left of spring break and I have so much left TO DO), but I'm going to try harder to comment and such because I luh you guyssss :) Just know that I'm *interested in you* (creeepy) from afar and still read your stuff!

And since I really can't keep my mouth shut- guess what, I have a guy. XD

"I don't feel good enough for you."
-------------------------------------------------
Whoa. I'm still shocked. I don't think I'll ever get it. New developments. Hey hey. O.O

I MISS YOU.

Awwwwww Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww poor babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Stupid prick.
Also, lol, woops, lol.

I took a very uncomfortable nap on a couch in the library and had a dream that I can't seem to place as good or bad. ButI love love love buying great books for cheap. Four books for five dollars, ugh wheee.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Turkey. :)

Sorry sorry, I know all my posts these days make no sense, but das okay!

*Cue British accent* I can't... look... away... O.O

:DDD

Who would've thought that I'd lose a friend for going to homecoming with someone else? Hm, hm? Not I, surely!
Well, M. told me he loves me. Dammit, oohuhuhuhuh. :'( He loves me but he only wants to be 'acquaintances and classmates' because he feels like he doesn't know who I am; I don't get the same 'magnitude of friendship' because he wants to know who I am. Does that make sense? Do you need to know who people are to be friends with them? Maybe. I suppose. I don't know. He's also mad because, well because I waited a while to give him 'no' as a response to his homecoming proposition (but in all honesty, I hoped and tried to convince myself that it was a just-as-friends thing, where we'd go in a group with the rest of our friends, and that's more easily deniable than a date) and said yes to the guy I actually went with. Well, that was a whim, it really was. He doesn't know the whole story... And he thinks I'm more attracted to and willing to go out with foreign guys (which is totally true, I admit, but I'm not adverse to any americans provided they're smart and *cough*tallerthanme*cough* ... but as shallow or whatever that is... I don't think it's a good reason to stop a friendship, nor is the fact that I went with someone else to homecoming, nor is the fact that I did a mean thing, for once. I think... maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just trying to defend myself. But I rather wish it didn't have to be this way. Aha.
Do I regret going still? I don't know. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness, and this guy makes me happy so far. I shouldn't have to sacrifice my happiness, because I already did that, and I've already done that. So, no. But, still. Let's be happy! Ahahahaha. :(